What a Man Does
by red-racer-fan
Summary: Merlin has quite an interesting pastime, well according to Arthur.


"What do you mea-, oh this?" Merlin said holding up the dress he was carrying. "No, no, no this isn't for me. I-" Merlin was cut off abruptly by Arthur.

"What a man does in his spare time is his own business." Arthur said jokingly.

"No, I , um I just have this-" Merlin began again before Arthur said.

"No Merlin it's alright I really don't care." Before he strode off in the opposite direction pretending like he had something to do. But he did care, 'what does Merlin want with a dress, he only knows two girls?! Morgana is much to polite to accept it as a gift and Gwen wouldn't accept either unless... No it couldn't be, Merlin couldn't love Gwen, right? Gwen is MY girl and it's going to stay that way!' Arthur thought hurriedly. Tomorrow he would investigate.

"Hey Gwen." Arthur said to the lovely lady who was carrying a basket of yellow flowers.

"Arthur." Gwen said with a curt nod.

"Anything, interesting happen yesterday?" Arthur questioned her.

"No just the regular stuff." Gwen said. 'Either she's lieing or Merlin hasn't given it to her yet. The chances of Gwen lieing are a lot slimmer than the chances of Merlin being a coward. I must keep a close eye on him.' Arthur thought to himself before replying.

"Oh, well I best be on my way. Matters of the court must be dealt with." Arthur said turning around to head to his chambers.

It had been three days since Freya's death. Merlin was still in mourning. In sadness Merlin lifted up the dress Fryea had given back to him, she was too kind to accept it. Merlin glanced upon it thinking about how everything in his life totally sucked.

"Oohh I'm Morgana and I'm totally evil. I want to slay Uther and Arthur and claim the throne." Merlin began but then realized how stupid that was. He had to put on the dress to be Morgana, duh. After getting changed into the dress did he begin his rant again. But this time he had an audience.

"Ooohhh look at me I'm Morgana and I want to make everyone's lifes fucking suck. Oh you thought that hippogriff's were a problem, nope I'm here to kill everything you every cared about." Merlin said spinning around pretending to cast spells." Have no fear Merlin is hear. Whoooosssshhhh." Merlin made noises with his mouth as he pretended to have a magic battle. " Oh your dead Morgana. AND EMRYS WON YOU BITCH!" Merlin cackled. "But now I have to go and deal with the rest of my shit which includes my now dead were-beast girlfriend who was slain by the person I share my destiny with so fuck you to Arthur. " Merlin said still flipping out about all the pressure. " But nooooooo, that's not all there's more, while I'm helping Giaus guess who also has to save the entire kingdom on a regular basis, ME!" Merlin said finishing his rant and pulling off the dress.

Arthur stood in shock pulling his gaze away from Merlin as he backed away from the crack in the door. 'MERLIN HAS GONE INSANE.' he thought heading back to his chambers vowing to keep an even closer watch on his mentally deprived friend. The next time Arthur went to check on Merlin only two days had passed, and Merlin looked especially glum. Freya kept sneaking into his thoughts awakening his pain every time it fell asleep. Merlin didn't know why but he felt like it was time for a change so he took a stroll to the market and bought a new attire. Arthur was following him the whole time, dressed as a peasant of course. Merlin first stopped at a stand selling very dark looking clothing and purchased a black top and black pants. The emo party train didn't stop there though, Merlin went and bought skull wrist bands, black lipstick and eyeliner too because... Well he didn't actually know but thought 'eh why not.'

Arthur looked befuddled by Merlin's recent purchases. Confused, he stalked Merlin back to his room. Merlin pulled off his usual clothes and put on the new very gothic ones. Admiring his very nice job on the make up in the water barrel he didn't notice Arthur sneaking out of his room. 'I'm going to talk to Gwaine.' Arthur said deciding on it firmly in his head. Stomping down the castle in a very Pendragon like manor came Uthur. 'Keep calm, I must not show fear. Magic lurks behind every corner.' Uthur thought in his usual paranoid way.

"Ah, Arthur you are needed at a council meeting tonight at 6. Do not disappoint me." Uthur finished in way the resembled Severus Snape. Before waiting for a reply he strode off down the hall to head back to his chambers also known as the 'panic room/fuck magic room'.

Arthur took what Uthur said and placed it into his short term memory. He was walkingn to Gwaine's chambers before realizing that he was most likely at the tavern. Luckily Gwaine had just exited his room.

"Hey Arthur!" Gwaine said jogging up to him.

"Hi Gwaine." Arthur replied.

"I was working on this joke, ready. Okay. What spell does a sorcerer use to clean up a mess?"

"I don't know why don't you ask Merlin because apparently he thinks he's one." Arthur said.

"None because if they do they'll be executed! Wait what!?" Gwaine finished his crappy joke.

"Yep apparently Merlin is having quite the internal debate." Arthur said.

"There's only one way too deal with this." Gwaine said.

"Yep." Arthur said nodding waiting for Gwaine to say something so that he could agree.

"Stalk Merlin some more." Gwaine said.

"Yep. WAIT REALLY!? Thats you're plan?" Arthur said.

" Well yeah. You best get on it, there he goes now. " Gwaine said pointing and then darting away. Arthur looked at Merlin before looking back to the Gwaine that wasn't there. Arthur sighed and then raced after his manservant. Sneaking into his room like he'd done not hours before, he witnessed something he really didn't want to see. Merlin was getting naked. But this time something different happened. Right before Merlin finished removing the last piece of his clothing he spotted Arthur.

"ARTHUR!"

"Merlin! I swear I can explain. I- " Arthur began.

"No, Arthur. What a man does in his spare time is his own business. " Merlin said turning around to go to his bedroom. Arthur never investigated into Merlin's personal life ever agin.


End file.
